narutoe: i farted in the apple store and everyone got mad but it wasnt my fault they don’t have Windows
alltheangst: jackbassam: When I have the sex talk with my kids I’m just going to tell them to follow the basic rule “If your age is on the clock, you’re too young for the cock” yeah, and when my kid turns thirteen imma go, “Sit back down, I was talking about military time.”
rnikedirnt: rnikedirnt: my health teacher has a sign in her room that says ‘if you cant handle the word vagina, then you shouldnt have your penis in one’ i wonder if my health teacher knows that shes tumblr famous
this is a follower appreciation post because if you think about it when 1 person follows you it’s not just a number it’s like a whole real person who breathes and eats and hits its pinky toe into furniture i mean it has legs and everything DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH OF A BIG DEAL IT IS
mom: did you get home safe?
me: no i died a few times